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Reposted by Bill Soltas

Bettina asks: "What are the most valuable methods of overcoming Low Frustration Tolerance?"

Bettina just in case readers don't know what Low Frustration Tolerance is here's a a quick picture:

LOW FRUSTRATION TOLERANCE

The king of all the blocks to self-growth has got to be Low Frustration Tolerance. Only emotional avoidance and dissociation rival it.

Low Frustration Tolerance beliefs are basically unsupportable by evidence. Human beings can stand anything if they just stay there. Low Frustration Tolerance is a irrational trance that many believe, but seldom test. Low Frustration Tolerance is our intolerance for discomfort, difficulties, frustration, and painful emotions. Here we believe the idea that our situation is too difficult, too much, or unbearable. Cues may include: Agitation, tension, poor attention, and leaving situations we really could stand.

Low Frustration Tolerance, called impatience or discomfort anxiety, is created by distorted views of a situation and our ability to put up with it. Here are some typical Low Frustration Tolerance beliefs:

*I need or deserve comfort all the time.
*I can't stand it.
*I can't bear it.
*I can't live without it.
*I can't tolerate it.
*It's too much.
*It's too heavy.
*I'm losing control.
*It's overwhelming.
*Will this ever end?
*My life should be easy and comfortable.
*This is driving me out of my mind.
*Too B-O-R-I-N-G.
*This is excruciating.
*Too Hard.
*This is too heavy.
*I'm going to jump out of my skin.

*Sometimes catastrophizing is added to the Low Frustration Tolerance to amp it up in our mind. This is our belief that the circumstances are also horrible, awful, terrible, or catastrophic.

Staying with the strong feelings generated by these superficial beliefs will allow the person who believes them to see that it's their belief about the situation that's creating most of their profound discomfort and not the actual situation. LFT, if believed, tends to really intensify aversive feelings. It's a negative magnifying lens on a situation. It's like the belief in "boredom" we tack onto situation and it make the situation uncomfortable and additionally unstimulating.

Where do we find LFT? Panic. Addictions. Compulsions. Worry. Rage and anger. Really strong LFT hints that trauma may be involved.

Acceptance, patience, and tolerance are arrived at through direct feeling, taking action in the face of LFT, and desensitizing LFT directly.

LFT's major challenges:

LFT stimulated instant gratification can often create stress in the future. Addictions, excessive tv watching instead of doing important duties, becoming involved in unsafe sex, exercise avoidance, overspending, overeating.

LFT lurks behind most procrastination. Procrastination creates problems in the near and distant future. More stress than avoided.

LFT helps make for complaining, blaming, and negativity and may thwart assertiveness and taking responsibility.

Having well developed patience and frustration tolerance is key. Not overreacting to problems and avoiding them helps in all of life's areas. You are more willing to undertake learning and try new activities. Patience and frustration tolerance means you're accepting what is and what is uncomfortable without making it into more than what it is.

LFT can be wilted and mashed by learning to stand there and do what we better do. A "Call to Action", the "I Stood it Exercise", or "Emo Direct Exposure" would be useful here. If we get severely fearful or phobic it's best to feel those emotions and do what better be done. This greatly deflates LFT. Nothing beats direct doing because it shows us very clearly that we can stand an activity, frustration, or extremely painful emotion. We can stand a great deal. In truth we can stand something until we die. When we believe we can't stand something we make that moment extremely uncomfortable. Through experimenting we will discover we possess the ability to stay in there, to keep with it. Without patience and tolerance we will face massive roadblocks to our aspirations and to life. With LFT we bail out at the first signs of discomfort and struggle. Gang no more jumping out of a 20 person bank line because we can't stand it. Nonsense.

LFT exaggerates feelings as well as leads to lethargy; a lack of discipline; helplessness; hopelessness; a focus on short-term discomfort rather than on long-term goals and rewards; and the building up of complaining and self-pity. Further LFT blocks our awareness of our ability to complete tasks and leads to awfulizing about our inability to control our emotions. LFT can also lead to us hating uncertainty and focusing on other's negative behavior.

LFT must be ruthlessly hunted down and experienced. Leave no LFT standing--ever. You probably will have an easier go of it if you accept it and feel it, yet take direct action in the face of LFT. I count LFT as one of the first targets to go after if you find it gumming up your life. It slows growth so it better be addressed.

Here's several processes that are based on "direct exposure" to LFT. They are effective and build up your frustration tolerance and patience:


THE LOW FRUSTRATION TOLERANCE DESTROYER

***Warning: Do not do this exercise if you have a history of mental illness, severe trauma, or panic without a therapist. If you decide to do this process you can only do it if you agree to absolve the webmasters, Emoclear.com, the servers, and Steve Mensing of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of this process. With any emotional process there is always the possibility of experiencing discomfort so proceed with this warning.***

(c) Steve Mensing

Find a worthwhile situation you deem "too much" or "you can't stand". Fully feel those Low Frustration Tolerance emotions with no intention of getting rid of them or keeping them. When you have fully experienced the LFT simply carry that activity through to its conclusion. You will note how you survived and stood it. If you happened to notice any parts of the activity that you enjoyed, note them by writing them down. Here are the steps to the "LFT Destroyer"

(1) Name the activity you believe "too much" or "couldn't stand":_________________________.

(2) Set a time to do this activity and follow through on it no matter how overwhelmed you initially feel.

(3) Recognize the long-term rewards for "standing it". My long-term rewards for standing this exercise will be:_____________________.

(4) Now begin the exercise by fully feeling your LFT feelings with no intention of getting rid of them or keeping them. Really allow yourself to feel those feelings. Thank them for what good things they might've done for you.

(5) Now regardless of how you're feeling, just get up and do the activity from start to finish.

(7) Notice how the intensity went down when you completed the task. Notice too that you stood it and survived. The more you practice this, the weaker LFT gets. It may blow out on the first run through.

Quick tips on handling LFT:

*LFT feelings can be targets for integration or Emotional Writing.

*Question your LFT beliefs can weaken them. Ask yourself these questions:

*Could you stand it? Have you stood it before?
*Have you coped with a similar situation?
*Could you stand it for 2 million dollars or some other highly valued awards? If you can--you just proved you could stand it.
*If your brain is not malformed--can you really go crazy or just get upset?
*Have you ever lived without it?
*Where's the evidence that it's really too much? Is your evidence based on just your belief?
*Why might LFT beliefs be labeled as anti-empirical statements (no evidence for the statements)?
*Can you stand it two minutes at a time?

*George Bernard Shaw noted two tragedies of life: "Not getting your heart's desire and getting your heart's desire."

*View your task as simple steps and not as an overwhelming whole.

*Use the Creator on an upcoming Low Frustration Tolerance situation and ask the Miracle Question in ways that has you successfully standing and staying through the difficult or uncomfortable. Say you looked back on your completed task from 3 years in the future, what good feelings would you have about completing it? How did you first notice that you accepted it. When did it feel doable? What did you think about the successful task?

*Feelings change--they never remain the same. Stay with doing a task and your feelings change.

*Give your attention to your task. I can't stand it-itis loses its punch as you pay fuller attention to your task.

*"Let us run with patience the race that is set before us." (Heb 12:1)

*"Be of good courage and do it" (Ezra 10:4) (Nike 7:11)

*"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (Heb. 12:11)


THE I STOOD IT EXERCISE

***Warning: Do not do this exercise if you have a history of mental illness, severe trauma, or panic without a therapist. If you decide to do this process you can only do it if you agree to absolve the webmasters, Emoclear.com, the servers, and Steve Mensing of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of this process. With any emotional process there is always the possibility of experiencing discomfort so proceed with this warning.***

Low Frustration Tolerance can be handled a number of ways:

* Feel the LFT fully and get up and do what you better do no matter how you feel at first. This alters the feeling state fairly quickly. Low Frustration tolerance depends on the belief that we can't stand something or it's too much. The belief gets disproved when we clearly demonstrate to ourselves that we can stand something, that it's not too much. LFT is a trance that can't survive in the exposure/desensitization of direct action. The more you get up and do what you supposedly can't stand, the more LFT loses its power. Action blows it out. Inaction keeps it alive.

*LFT can also be a target for integration, direct exposure, and emotional writing. LFT is often present with compulsions, addictions, panic, and pain syndromes.

* Besides direct action, knowing that you can stand anything can help. You might ask yourself can I stand your LFT plagued activity for: (1) A huge cash reward? (2) A valuable chunk of your life is returned to you? (3) Or any other valuable reward you can see. (your life is spared) If you can stand it for any of these rewards then you can assume you can stand it or it's not too much.

I STOOD IT EXERCISE

Find an important situation you deem "too much" or "can't be stood" and simply carry that activity through to its conclusion. With this exercise you will prove to yourself that you "stood it". Feel your I can't stand it feelings fully and then swing all your attention over to your chosen activity. Here are the steps:

(1) Name the activity you believed "too much" or "couldn't stand": _____________________.

(2)Set a specific length of time for standing it (some may want to stand the activity from start to finish). The length of time is: ____________________.

(3) Recognize your long-term rewards for "standing it". My long-term rewards for staying in there will be: _______________________. (Better quality of life--more self control--etc).

(4) Recognize that you can stand it for a large sum of money, your life being spared, or whatever you highly value. If you recognize this, you know then that you can stand it.

(5) Do the activity named in step (1) from start to finish.

(6) Recognize that you stood it--that it wasn't too much. Know that you regained control over an area of your life. Notice the good feelings you obtained by doing this activity from start to finish. Repeat the activity until you no longer experience Low Frustration Tolerance.

More tips on Low Frustration Tolerance.

*Working with the Low Frustration Tolerance Personality Cluster can be helpful if we integrate those beliefs. and clear and integrate those beliefs. This can be a form of innoculation. See the Personality Cluster Learn-in for information on cluster clearing.

*Use future orientation in time questions aimed at changing LFT in situations where you previously have gotten out of there. Ask yourself questions like:

(1)How will I feel a year from now when I stood and maybe found enjoyment in waiting in long lines at the bank? What will I notice first? How will my experience be different? Who will notice first--the teller or Mrs. Patulsko from the 7-11?

(2) After my detox when the cravings hit, what will it feel like when I've accepted this situation, stand it, and survive it? What will I feel first? Will I express this sense of liberation to my friends? Or just keep it to myself?

*Practicing the "I Stood It Exercise" or the "LFT DESTROYER" breaks down LFT and when we do this it tends to leave a callous, a future sense that we can stand future situations.

*Intuitive Symbolizer can dissolve these LFT repetitive and intense knots. You Intuitively tune into your LFT experience and allow it to make an intuitive symbol. This is integrated, getting at the root structure of that particular brand of LFT.

*Eating and sleeping right can help in reducing the opportunities for "I can't stand it-itus" to form. Tired and hungry folks tend to manifacture higher levels of LFT.

*Using "Shame Attacking Exercises" can desensitize LFT.
You do something you feel shameful about and stand it until it diminishes. Often around shame and embarassment are lots of LFT.

*If you feel overwhelmed you can reach for the Shrunken Head Exercise to quickly reduce flight/fight overwhelm.

*Working with the Emo Reviewer or the Emotionl Writing Process on memories where LFT happened is a very strong approach that desensitizes.

*Keep in mind it's easier to do these socalled difficult or boring tasks when we see meaning, value, and the future good consequences in doing them. Greater pleasant results can often be obtained from doing the unpleasant. Yet realize the unpleasant can be made less unpleasant by not running the LFT trances and their self-defeating evaluations.

*Unless something's truly dangerous or self-defeating, see it through until completion. This builds up your tolerance muscle. Notice that everything eventually dies down anyway if we put up with it. The "A Call to Action" can bring us directly into confrontation with LFT.

*If you want to strengthen your frustration and pain tolerance choose activities you can't stand doing. The most obnoxious things you can imagine. Make a list of them and do them. Going shopping days before Christmas. Listening to someone obnoxious and boring. Watch a time clock during your least favorite chore.

*Imagine what it would be like to--

1. Put up with frustrating experiences to advance toward long-term goals.

2. Take self-enhancing risks without being blow away.

3. Face strong emotions without procrastinating or abusing substances.

4. Let others know what you want or need without being LFTed.

5. Stay focused on projects without being overwhelmed.

6. Take responsibility for things getting done without being caught up in complaining.


*Notice the difference between discomfort feeling unpleasant and tolerable against being horrible and unbearable. What makes the differing experience? What compounds the discomfort?

Do we employ rules like:

"I shouldn't have to take unpleasantness."
"Life should be easy and comfortable at all times."

Do you prefer not to face discomfort or do you demand not to face it? Give this some consideration.

Can you recall moments or lengthy periods when you stood discomfort? What helped you do this?

Can you imagine discomfort. Can you turn on more discomfort and then less discomfort. What did you do?


Have fun, Steve