Yuku free message boards

Hi Alyce:

Alyce asks: "What common relationship fallacies hurt relationships?"

Alyce the most common fallacies are:

*That someone should know what you want without you telling them. This unassertive approach makes for frustration with both parties.

*That you should never argue. Conflicts and arguements occur. It's helpful if the the couples have good conflict management skills.

*That your partner loves you all the time. Sorry, but fallow periods happen in most relationships.

*Once you fall out of love, you can't get it back. Not so.
Many couples fall out of love and regenerate it though spending quality time together and solving conflicts.

*Love is all that's needed in a good marriage. No many skills are required like problem solving, decision making,
assertiveness, listening ect.

*In a good partnership or marriage we will only have sexual feelings for our partner or spouse. Unlikely, but it's not a hot idea to act on those outside sexual feelings.

*Our partner is the main cause of our relationship problems. Unlikely. It takes two to have conflicts.

*We should be upset when things don't go right between us. We don't have to become very upset. Better to find a remedy for what's not working.

*Partners should depend on eachother for being happy.
No--happiness has more to do with the way we evaluate what goes on around us and the activities we undertake.

*Relationships and marriages cure loneliness. Not really.
Someone can be in a relationship and still feel lonely.

*Marriages and relationships never need to be worked on.
No--even the best ones require some attention.


Take care, Steve