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Reposted by Tim G.


Aimee asks: "How does someone target "what if" worry questions?"

Aimee compulsive "what if" worry questions can be stopped in the following ways:

*Notice any anxiety or feelings or overwhelm beneath the flurry of worry thoughts and "what ifs". Fully feel those feelings and integrate them. The "what ifs" die out when the emotions below are integrated.

*Specify exactly what your worries are. Write them out.
What are the probabilities of these worries occuring and could you survive them and stand them? Can you find a practical solution for them?

*How might you feel and behave differently if you stopped asking "what if" questions or asked "What if something good or neutral happened?"

*Find any distorted thinking that's supporting your "what if" thinking.

*Is there a middle ground between thinking things will be dangerous and thinking things will be perfectly safe? What is that middle ground and what's the probability of it happening?

*Put the most utilized "what if" questions into the Belief
Repeater.

*Ask yourself what's the absolute worst possible outcome, the least possible outcome, and the best possible outcome. Write a fully detailed description of the absolute worst outcome. Jot down all the things that could go wrong. Write out all the things that would prevent these worst things from happening. Emotionally and imaginally expose yourself to the worst things happening and repeat these images until they become desensitized.

*Write out three possible positive outcomes and make up detailed stories about how these positive outcomes might occur.

Take care, Steve

Repost-


Let's put together a super thread on worry busting.
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Hello Emoclearians,

Let's put together a super thread on worry busting.
How does it get handled as a compulsion.
What's the dif between healthy worry or concern and compulsive worry?
If there is a genuine concern, how is that turned into effective problem solving?
What are the top ways of derailing worry?
How do you depattern worry type behavior?
Scheduling worry and detrancing worry?
Risk assessing?
Dealing with monkey mind during processing or meditation.
Processing worry.
Integrating worry.

Nick Abruzzi





Repost Clark







Hello Chuck,

In the forums I learned about writing my worries or my monkey mind down on paper. This objectifies them and puts me outside them. The worries cool down. Label them too. "That worry". "That message." That puts you outside them. Then ask your worry what feeling is beneath them. Fully feel what comes up and allow it to be there without trying to get rid of it or keep it. Emo-integrate it.

The overwhelm beneath worry is anxiety or fear. Feel it and integrate it. The worry vaporizes when the hidden overwhelm is targeted.

Many times the worry is not based on something "out there". It's "what ifing" distracting someone from anxieties and fears elsewhere. This is true especially if you examine the worry and the possibilities seem remote.

Peter Warren

Repost by Brian Riordan


THE TRANCE-FORMER EXERCISE

**WARNING: Folks with a history of mental illness, trauma, or panic are urged not to use this process without a therapist. If you decide to do this process you will agree to dissolve the webmaster, his server, Emoclear.com and Steve Mensing of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of this process. There is always in any process the possibility that someone could experience some discomfort. So proceed with this warning.**

The Trance-Former Exercise is a method for taking control of trances and uncreating them. Trances are fixations or narrowings of attention which contain alterable patterns. The altering of a trance can alter behavior, feelings, and thoughts.

Typical trances are:

Dissociation.
Strong pain.
Stuck emotions.
Strong opinions.
Confusion.
Amnesia.
Hallucinating in any of the sense modalities.
Worry.
Compulsive fixations.
Compulsive fantasies.
Romantic reverie.
Time distortion.
Sensory distortion.
Personality Clusters.
Stuck identities.
Regression states.
Dwelling on the future or past.
Denial.
Numbing.
Intense blaming.
Spacing out.
Dreaming.
Daydreaming.
Compulsive defensiveness.

TRANCE-FORMER EXERCISE I

Here are the steps:

(1) Begin to notice a trance. Notice where it happens and when it happens. How do you experience the trance or feel it? Can you feel those trance feelings in your body? Or can you see or hear them? Allow that trance to be there with no attempt to get rid of it or keep it.

(2) Label whatever trance you encounter: "That trance."

(3) Now observe "That trance". Pay relaxed and open attention to it.

(4) If the trance is felt in your body, you can move the trance to different body locations. Move the trance to another spot on your body and then back again. You can do this several times until the trance dissolves.

(6) If the trance is heard, can you listen to it as if it was close by are far away? Can you make the sound louder? Softer?

(7) Can you expand or shrink your trance?

(8) Can you intuitively dialogue with your trance? What does it say?

(9) What's the shape of your trance? Can you change the shape?

(10) Can you notice the spaces between your trances? Can you expand and shrink those spaces?

(11) Can you intuitively create a replica of your trance?

(12) Can you allow the time in your trance to either slow down or speed up?

(13) Can you spread the trance out?

(14) Can you widen your attention's focus, going beyond the periphery of your trance? Notice what takes place outside the trance and the surrounding space.

(15) Can you produce your trance elsewhere? Can you change the time when the trance appears, making it happen sooner or later in the day?

(16) Take turns resisting having the trance and allowing the trance to be there. Notice what happens?

(17) Notice any feelings connected with the trance. Can you intentsify the feelings, then turn them down intuitively? Repeat this intensifying and turning them down. Experience this intensifying and turning down's effects on the trance.

Keep playing with your trance until you have control over it and it dissolves.

Take care, Steve

Greetings Chuck:

All very good ideas.

Sometimes taking brief 'worrry breaks' for a minute or two of intense worry helps. This way the worry is compartmentalized. Seeing that one can control worry deflates it.

Confronting what you worry about takes the power of it and lets you know they can weather the storm.

Liz


Carl Stohle
Unregistered User
(11/30/03 2:02 pm)
Let's put together a super thread on worry busting.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Repost by Carl Stohle


Dealing With Constant Thinking
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi,

Dealing with mental chatter: (Reposted) by 1zn

(Dan Canepa)
-Accept the monkey mind. Do not resist it. Allow it to be there. Do not try to get rid of it. Or keep it.
Observe it until it dies down or blinks out.

-Write down the thoughts of the monkey mind. Putting them on paper objectifies them and takes some of the fire off.

-Make sure you're rested prior to processing.

-Your monkey mind may be pulling on your attention because you did not ask your body what it wanted to do.
Utilize the contents of the monkey mind and it's related feelings as your targets.

-Use the thoughts as targets for an energy process and see what happens.

-Heavy duty monkey mind worry. Maybe a compulsive distraction like if someone's working with heavy worry, compulsive needs/addiction. See if there are feelings being covered over by monkey mind worry. Just feel them, then the monkey mind goes to sleep and dissolves. Active Feeling works this.

(Yogi)
-Learn to feel. Active Feeling, Shapeshifter, just practice putting your attention on things and experiencing whatever you get. Put your attention on a point on your body and feel.

-Slow your breathing down. Pay attention to the exhale. Pay attention to the gap between the inhale and the exhale. Leave more time after the exhale, and notice the silence before the next inhale.

-Thinking is connected with breath, and so by changing up your breathing pattern, you interrupt the flow of your thinking.

-There are ALWAYS gaps in your thinking. Simply starts paying attention to the gaps. When thoughts come, label them "thoughts" and return your attention to the silence.

-Or use this metaphor: your consciousness is like an empty, wide open sky. Thoughts are like clouds. When you notice a thought, see it as a cloud. Then put your attention back into the open sky.

(Max Venhoven)
-One method I used was to not only accept it being there, but to place my attention on the spaces between the chatter or thought. This tends to expand them, make them longer. It relaxes one too. You may suddenly get an intuitive insight that makes the chatter lose potency in your mind.

-Another is to enter the core of the chatter with your attention. View the edges like you do in Steve's Lucid Dreaming Doorway. Hold the edges. Perhaps expand or contract several times the mental chatter or Monkey mind. This gives a sense of control. Like the trance phenomena control other posters have mentioned in the forums.

(Clark)
-When that monkey mind is chattering away with its aggitation, worry, anxiety, allow it to chatter, but shift the restless mind to your restless body. That's right. Allow the restlessness to be experienced in your body. Feel the tension, the uneasyness, the tightness that reflects your mind. Feel it in your body. Allow it to be there. Do not try to get rid of it or keep it.

-Yet another is to count breaths. Count each inhale and exhale while you keep a straight back. If you lose count, then bring your attention back to the breath and start over. In time this unravels the monkey mind.

(Carl Stohle)
-I took it and felt it in my body, then I did it through the steps of an integrator.

(Steve Mensing)
You might want to ask your thinking or constant analyzing some important questions. You can pay attention to your thinking and allow it to be there with no thought of getting rid of it or keeping it. Thinking like feelings can be integrated. Thoughtforms are made of the same stuff as feelings--just energy. They seem to come from the old bean instead of the body.

Call your thinking: "That thinking" and observe it with relaxed attention. Place your palm on your heartbeat region. When you have that "just back" position or you are watching it on the open and relaxed screen of awareness, ask it these questions:

Thinking--what good things are you doing for me?

Thinking--what might you like to tell me about yourself?

Thinking--What brings you into my life?

Thinking--Are you protecting me from any feelings that might seem stressfull?

Thinking--How might I accept you better?

Thinking--What might I love or appreciate about you?

Thinking--How might you become just thoughts?

Thinking--How might I notice how you come and go?

Thinking--When are you less constant?

Thinking--When do I feel? What allows you step out of the way then?

Thinking--What do you want me to do?

Thinking--Why is that horrible Steve Mensing asking you all these questions? (Optional)

Basically what we're doing here is to allow you to notice when you are not so much thinking as feeling. What is occuring at these times? How can you allow more of the same to happen?

There are many temporary tricks to chop down thinking and go to feeling. Milton Erickson, during hypnosis, used to add baggage and tasks to the over analyzing mind with its flood of thinking. He used to get his hypnotic customers to do even more thinking which of course has a paradoxical effect. He would have them count by odd numbers down from 40,000. He'd have them think of complex scenes. The thinking mind would soon resist into feeling and intuitive trance.

Simply practicing (compulsively!) labeling our thoughts as "that thinking" and bringing our gentle attention back to our feelings over and and over and over again tends to wear down habitual or compulsive thinking. Meditators have successfully done this for centures.

There are nastier methods like using Emoclear processes on thinking instead of feeling. Thinking can be integrated just like feelings. Compulsive thinking is grist for integration. It's just energy that can give us a message and be allowed to return to formlessness.

We can resist thinking too just as we resist feelings. This tends to cement it and make it seem stuck.

The secret is just to allow the thinking to be there and fully experience it with no intention of getting rid of it or keeping it. Just watch it with relaxed and open attention. Gain it's overall message. If it seems stuck, see if any feeling messages reside below it.

Many folks don't pay much attention to their thought processes if at all. They accept or are just unaware of their nearly continuous subvocal talking. It's their experience and they have no idea they shouldn't be doing it. Perhaps this is a blessing that there isn't an additional voice saying this isn't correct.

But every so often someone who has this almost continous self-talk stumbles across the "curse".(almost because there are spaces between thoughts--and there are often unnoticed times of absorbtion which are hard to recall because little or no thinking was going on for memory peg these times).

The "curse" is created by information proclaiming the value of non-thinking moments: moments of vital absorbtion or of feeling. The person, who has the personal style of thinking about their thinking, may suddenly get the idea that thinking nearly all the time is wrong or incomplete. Now not only does this person have the experience of this almost continuous voice in their heads, now the little sob voice is making up a rule that they shouldn't be thinking all the time and perhaps even knocks them for it when they do.

The "curse", although painful at times, can awaken a thinker to other possibilities. Like the possibility that there are longer spaces between thoughts. That there are moments of vital absorbtion in doing. Or that feelings and intuition can be directly experienced without that voice bubbling away.

People who have received the "curse" can now relieve themselves of the "curse's" rule that "they must not think almost all the time". In certain contexts it may be indeed preferable not to think--like when we are experiencing feelings or intuitions or wrapped up in the glories of vital absorbtion when the self is dissolved in the doing. Yet these are not "must" situations. These can be preferences.

It helps to accept where we are with these thoughts and count our blessings that we are indeed among the meta-thinkers. There are many who do not give two bleeps about their thinking or much observe it. They miss our valuable philosophical nature which can be of the utmost value in testing and evaluating among other things. I would not be able to address your questions if I did not have this valuable process of thinking about my thinking.

There are numerous methods for retraining our meta-thinker to stand aside and allow for vital absorbtion, the direct experience of our feelings, sensations, and intuitions. Integrators and various forms of meditation like Vipassana, Zen, and Mahamudra can create more spaces between the thoughts and an easier time of it in experiencing feelings feelings and intuitions.

Fleeting times exist of when we are not thinking most of the time. The subtle spaces between thoughts. The moments of feeling. (If you've got irritated or angry and got caught up in it, if even briefly, that counts).

If you would like to give yourself an assignment you might want to do the following. Observe those times during the day, no matter how fleeting or long, when you're internal voice is not talking in some way. Perhaps jot down these brief or maybe even long moments. You might notice what you were doing at the time to bring about these moments of space between your thoughts or of subtle absorbtions. Make it easy on yourself--don't write down the duration of these moments or whether your enjoyed them. Just record that you had them.

What additional techniques have Emoclearians found helpful in dealing with mental chatter?

Thanks.



Steve:

If I had the monkey mind it be long gone after reading that post. Go ahead Steve--you the man. That could've been the closing speech at the last supper. Seriously.

When you relax your tongue and let it pancake flat, the chattering mind will go down.


John Gastly



Hello Emoclearians,

Worry and continuous thoughts? Pick a series in the Perception Buster that fits your monkey mind thoughts and put it through the questions. This is quite good for taking the edge off of worries and stopping constricted thinking. This way you connect with the feelings driving the worry.

Deana


THE PERCEPTION BUSTER

The Perception Buster is a collection of questions geared to break down a problem situation into manageable parts and shift our perceptions. This process leads to seeing our problem situation from multiple angles and in doing so weakens the problem situations sense of solidity and unchangeability. The Perception Buster can be done alone or with a facilitator asking questions.

***Warning: Persons with a history of mental illness, severe trauma, or panic are urged not to use this process without a counselor or therapist. If you decide to use this process you will agree to dissolve the webmasters, the server, Steve Mensing, and Emoclear.com of any responsibility for for the application or misapplication of this process. There is always within any emotional or mental process the possibility that someone could experience some discomfort. So proceed with this warning.***

(c) Steve Mensing

THE PERCEPTION BUSTER

Here are the steps:

(1) PLACE ONE PALM ON YOUR HEARTBEAT REGION AND THE OTHER PALM ON THE OCCIPITAL RIDGE AREA ON THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD: Place one palm on your heartbeat region and the other palm on your occipital ridge area on the back of your head. Keep your palms there for as long as comfortably possible. You can take breaks from this position during the question and answer segment of the "The Perception Buster". These palm positions will assist in altering your perceptions of the problem situation. Go to step (2).

(2) THE PERCEPTION BUSTER QUESTIONS: Choose any series of questions that appeal to you. Direct your questions to your heartbeat region or to your overall felt sense of the problem. Give your self time to respond. Your responses may come as reveries, ah hahs, imagery, or as sounds or voices. Do not rush the process. To gain an overall felt sense of your problem situation, allow your feelings about the problem situation to resonate in your body. When you have a good sense of the feelings and really feel them (Without trying to get rid of them or keep them), then label those feelings: "That challenging situation". This will give you an overall felt sense of the problem situation. Direct your questions to the felt sense and get its responces. Give it time to respond. The answers should come from your body and not your head.

The questions:

SERIES I

Ask your overall felt sense the following questions:

*Where in your body are you experiencing your problem situation right now? Feel its sensations. What are you calling it?

*Can you call it something else? What might someone else label this situation?

*When did this situation happen? Where did it happen? How often did it happen? Can you change the when, the where, the how often? How might you do this?

*Is there something you didn't like about the people in this situation? Some beliefs or values they had? Some behaviors? Do you dislike what they said or how they feel? Could you accept any of these things you didn't like?

*Did others see this situation the same way you did? Did they see it differently? How so?

*Have there been other times when you saw a situation similar to this one? What happened? Then what happened? If your perspective was to change on this situation, how might it change? How would you like it to change? Can you allow it to change now?

*If you are viewing this situation from an identity, how are the other people reacting to your identity? Who are these people and how were you and they drawn into this situation? What if you saw this situation as a movie or a novel? How might you rewrite it or direct it?

*What are your feelings about this situation? How would they naturally evolve over time? Could time be compressed and your feelings evolve? How would that feel? What are your feeling's sensations? What are you now seeing about your situation?

SERIES II

Like the first series, ask your overall felt sense of a problem situation these questions:

*If a video camera took a motion picture of your situation, what would be some of the first things you noticed in the video version? Would it be much different from the version you saw? What would be different? What might be the same?

*Can you experience yourself being without the challenges that occurred in this situation? What would it take? Is there something you could do or say? Or would your feelings naturally evolve about the situation? How might they evolve? Could you feel them now? What are you seeing in this situation? What are you hearing in this situation?

*After the situation how did feel? Could you now feel like you did before the situation? How did you feel? Now move ahead to after the situation. How might your feelings, about the situation, have evolved 5 years from now? What do you see in the past situation? What do you hear in the past situation?

*If you merely coped with this situation, how would you feel about it? What would you notice about the situation from a coping standpoint?

*If you fully accepted the situation and found useful and valuable items in the experience, how would you view the situation now? How would you feel about it? What would you see in the situation? What would you hear in the situation?

SERIES III

Ask your overall felt sense of the problem situation these questions:

*What details did you notice in the situation which might be comforting or interesting?

*What if the situation appeared as different chapters in a novel. Which chapter was the most compelling? How did the story end? Did your character influence the other character's behavior in any way?

*Was there someone in the situation that you made into an antagonist? A loved one? A hero? A focus of blame? Did you do this to anyone? Can the characters of this story change places? Can they become other characters? What does each feel, see, and hear?

*What was rewarding in the situation? Was there something in the situation you would like to do over again, perhaps in a different way?

*What if someone in a duck costume suddenly streaked across the situation? What if the situation was viewed against a giant purple polka dot background? How might you feel?

*What if you suddenly became a giant in this situation and the other people became midgets? How would the situation feel?

*If you had asserted yourself would anything have changed in your situation? What learning did this situation provide? What would this situation appear like if you accepted parts of it or the entire situation?

*What is the worst thing that happened in this situation? Could it have been worse? Could you have survived the worsening? Did the situation contain an unexpected benefit? What was it?

*What if you viewed the situation from someone else's eyes? You had their beliefs, feelings, and values? How would you see this situation? How would you feel about it?

*What if you felt satisfied in this situation, like everything was okay? What would you see and feel? Would other voices sound different?

SERIES IV

Ask your felt sense of the situation these questions:

*What did you expect to happen during the situation that did not happen? Would your expectations be different now? What would they be? How did you assess your behavior during the situation? Would you behave differently now?

*What was your judgment of your ability to handle this situation? Do you believe you could now handle this situation better? Did you learn something valuable overall from this situation?

*What are the rewards you now experience from undergoing this situation? How do you now experience yourself? Have you grown from the experience? In what ways? How can you accept yourself at this moment? What would you do?

*What attitudes and motivations did you attribute to others during the situation? Could they have had other attitudes or motivations? Can you accept their attitudes and motivations?

*What brought you to this learning situation in the first place? How do you feel about this situation since time has passed and you have distance on it?

Have fun, Steve





Hello 1zn,

One difficulty with constant thinking is internal debate or daisy pulling. This continuous thinking is due to people not making a decision and comitting to it. "Tips on Decision Making" covers this.

Writing your thoughts down on paper coupled with reviewing your various options and how you will solve them should defuse worry. You get some distance on your thoughts. You see various ideas about the situation. You begin to see solutions. What you can do. In this cooler state of mind the feelings beneath any worries will find it easier to surface.

If it's big worries the Multi-Solutions Generator is useful for locating solutions and overturning stuckness.

Julian Kammerz


Since a chattering mind is often a trance, it will be broken by using the Trance-Former.

Kendra


Repost by Kendra


THE TRANCE-FORMER EXERCISE

**WARNING: Folks with a history of mental illness, trauma, or panic are urged not to use this process without a therapist. If you decide to do this process you will agree to dissolve the webmaster, his server, Emoclear.com and Steve Mensing of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of this process. There is always in any process the possibility that someone could experience some discomfort. So proceed with this warning.**

The Trance-Former Exercise is a method for taking control of trances and uncreating them. Trances are fixations or narrowings of attention which contain alterable patterns. The altering of a trance can alter behavior, feelings, and thoughts.

Typical trances are:

Dissociation.
Strong pain.
Stuck emotions.
Strong opinions.
Confusion.
Amnesia.
Hallucinating in any of the sense modalities.
Worry.
Compulsive fixations.
Compulsive fantasies.
Romantic reverie.
Time distortion.
Sensory distortion.
Personality Clusters.
Stuck identities.
Regression states.
Dwelling on the future or past.
Denial.
Numbing.
Intense blaming.
Spacing out.
Dreaming.
Daydreaming.
Compulsive defensiveness.

TRANCE-FORMER EXERCISE I

Here are the steps:

(1) Begin to notice a trance. Notice where it happens and when it happens. How do you experience the trance or feel it? Can you feel those trance feelings in your body? Or can you see or hear them? Allow that trance to be there with no attempt to get rid of it or keep it.

(2) Label whatever trance you encounter: "That trance."

(3) Now observe "That trance". Pay relaxed and open attention to it.

(4) If the trance is felt in your body, you can move the trance to different body locations. Move the trance to another spot on your body and then back again. You can do this several times until the trance dissolves.

(6) If the trance is heard, can you listen to it as if it was close by are far away? Can you make the sound louder? Softer?

(7) Can you expand or shrink your trance?

(8) Can you intuitively dialogue with your trance? What does it say?

(9) What's the shape of your trance? Can you change the shape?

(10) Can you notice the spaces between your trances? Can you expand and shrink those spaces?

(11) Can you intuitively create a replica of your trance?

(12) Can you allow the time in your trance to either slow down or speed up?

(13) Can you spread the trance out?

(14) Can you widen your attention's focus, going beyond the periphery of your trance? Notice what takes place outside the trance and the surrounding space.

(15) Can you produce your trance elsewhere? Can you change the time when the trance appears, making it happen sooner or later in the day?

(16) Take turns resisting having the trance and allowing the trance to be there. Notice what happens?

(17) Notice any feelings connected with the trance. Can you intentsify the feelings, then turn them down intuitively? Repeat this intensifying and turning them down. Experience this intensifying and turning down's effects on the trance.

Keep playing with your trance until you have control over it and it dissolves.

Take care, Steve



Aaron Kallish
Unregistered User
(10/4/03 11:22 am)
Reply Dealing With Constant Thinking
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Hello,

A trick, to apply to the monkey mind, similar to some of the Trance-Former moves is to make more and more of the mind chatter until it turns off.

Exagerate it and make it funny turns off the heat.


Aaron Kallish

Hi,

Reposted:

Hi all,

How can you slow down thoughts before sleeping?

Martin Hauck

Hello Martin,

Label a thought "that thought" which puts you outside.
Whenever a thought comes up label "that thought" and just watch it with relaxed and open attention. You could also count them. "That thought 1" "That thought 2". "That thought 3". They'll slow if you label and count them.

Jarrod

Hello Martin:

Add left nasel dominance breathing to Jarrod's just back meditation method. It should quiet monkey mind.

Nina Kanis

Hello,

While observing thoughts from outside of them, slow your breathing down, and pay attention to the gaps between the outbreath and the inbreath. At the end of the outbreath, focus your attention in the gap before the inbreath.

This is an old, old technique, but it works quite well.

Another technique is to simply stop your...thoughts.....in....mid-sentence.....like....((( )))).

Whenever the mind wants to start some thoughts, just return to focusing on the gaps after the outbreath.

Soon you'll be somewhere in a dream....

Ch....e......er......s(((( )))),

Yogi




Alyce Waters


Greetings all:

The Embalmer I and II while relaxation processes are able to 'shock the monkey' into silence.


Repost by Albert Venhoven


THE EMBALMER I & II

The Embalmer I & II are relaxation exercises and are helpful for just chilling out and destressing. If you're having a challenge with sleep these two exercises may assist you in resetting the sleep button.

(c) Steve Mensing

***Warning: Folks with a history of mental illness, severe trauma, or panic are urged not to use this process without a therapist. If you decide to use this process you will agree to absolve the webmasters, the server, Steve Mensing, and Emoclear.com of any responsibility for either the application or misapplication of this process. Within any emotional or mental process is the possibility that someone could experience discomfort. So proceed with this warning. ***

EMBALMER I

Experience each question for as long as it takes to experience what is asked, then go to the next:

Can you lay down and let your arms lay slightly away from your body with your fingers slightly spread?

Is it possible to turn your head so your left nostril is on top and your right nostril is on the bottom? (This will accentuate left nasal dominance breathing for the remainder of this exercise.)

Can you breathe deeply and slowly from your belly, comfortably and fully filling your lungs? Can you let go go of all control of the breath as you exhale? (Do this several times, then put your relaxed and open attention to whatever experiences are requested).

Is it possible, with your eyes closed to peer for 10 seconds through an area just above your eyebrows.

Can you begin to let your jaw sag, your tongue relax, and your face sag. Take your time. Just allow all three areas to fully relax.

Can you briefly imagine biting into a warm lemon and tasting it's tartness?

Can you allow your entire mouth to fill up completely with saliva and can you permit this saliva to remain above and below your tongue for the remainder of this exercise?

Is it possible to notice which arm is more relaxed than the other?

Can you notice which hand is more relaxed than the other?

Is it possible to notice which leg is more relaxed than the other?

Can you notice which foot is more relaxed than the other?

Is it possible to notice which is more relaxed: your torso or your lower body?

If you fell asleep and were dreaming, what would your body feel like at that moment? Would it have numbness or tingling? Or no particular sensation at all? What might you feel?

Can you notice the space behind your face? What if that empty space felt pleasantly warm?

Is it possible to notice the empty space within your neck? What if that empty space felt pleasantly warm?

Can you notice the empty space within your torso? What if the empty space felt pleasantly warm?

Is it possible to notice the empty space within your right leg? What if that empty space felt pleasantly warm?

Can you notice the empty space within your left leg? What if that empty space was pleasantly warm?

Is it possible to recall a time when you were either napping or sleeping, what did that feel like?

Can you recall a time when you were either in reverie or dreaming, what did that feel like?

Is it possible to drift or float in relaxing reverie or dreams for as long as you prefer. When you feel relaxed enough, you can become alert again, feeling your body and looking out through your eyes. You can use the "grounding exercise" on the Process page.

EMBALMER II

Experience each question for as long as it takes to experience what is asked, then go to the next:

Can you lay down and let your arms lay slightly away from your body with your fingers slightly spread?

Is it possible to turn your head so your left nostril is on top and your right nostril is on the bottom? (This will accentuate left nasal dominance breathing for the remainder of this exercise.)

Can you breathe deeply and slowly from your belly, comfortably and fully filling your lungs? Can you let go go of all control of the breath as you exhale? (Do this several times, then put your relaxed and open attention to whatever experiences are requested).

Is it possible, with your eyes closed to peer for 10 seconds through an area just above your eyebrows.

Can you begin to let your jaw sag, your tongue relax, and your face sag. Take your time. Just allow all three areas to fully relax.

Can you briefly imagine biting into a warm lemon and tasting it's tartness?

Can you allow your entire mouth to fill up completely with saliva and can you permit this saliva to remain above and below your tongue for the remainer of this exercise?

Is it possible to experience a growing warmth on the lower rear of the back of your head (The occipital region).

Can you pay relaxed and open attention to the periphery of your visual filed for 8 seconds?

Is it possible to notice half of your body is more relaxed than the other?

Can you notice which side of your body is warmer than the other?

Is it possible to hear the word calm coming from somewhere in your awareness?

Can you imagine the entire space contained within your body?

Is it possible to notice the entire space contained within your room?

Can you notice the entire space within the house or building you are staying?

Is it possible to notice the entire space within your town or city?

Can you experience the entire space within the Earth?

Is it possible to notice the entire space within your solar system?

Can you experience the entire space within your galaxy?

Is it possible to notice the space within your universe?

Can you notice the entire space within your mind?

Is it possible to notice the entire space outside your mind?

Can you notice everything contained within awareness?

Is it possible to notice that awareness is contained within everything?

Can you notice what happens when you call everything awareness?

Is it possible to remove the label awareness?

Can you experience everything called calm?

Is it possible just to pay attention to whatever drifts in and out of awareness?

Is it possible to drift or float in relaxing reverie or dreams for as long as you prefer. When you feel relaxed, you can become alert again, feeling your body and looking out through your eyes. You can use the "grounding exercise" on the Process page.

Take care, Steve

Hello,

The Rumination Breaker can undo compulsive worry.

Bonny Keats


THE RUMINATION BREAKER (Updated)

Rumination, the trance like repetitive negative thinking that depressed individuals suffer and a major contributer to depression, is especially problematic when it happens prior to sleeping at night. When rumination occurs prior to bedtime, it often causes "overdreaming". Here the dreamer dreams much more than usual and robs himself or herself of sound and restful sleep.

Dreams are valuable for integrating ruminations, worry, and unintegrated emotional material. When we dream we don't sleep soundly. Unsound sleep leads to waking in the middle of the night or too early in the morning. This compounds depression and makes for increased tiredness and lethargy. This in turn will create more ruminations which will increase depression. Ruminations contain a wealth of distorted thoughts like negative self-labeling, all-or-nothing-thinking, shoulding, horribilizing, and can't stand it-itis. The Rumination Breaker, in breaking down and integrating ruminative trances, combines:

*An emotional writing exercise which integrates the ruminative emotions and distorted thinking.

*A method for recognizing and desensitizing specific thought distortions common to rumination.

*A replacement pattern of positive memories to start a climb back to a good mood.

(c) Steve Mensing

***Warning: This process is not to be used by anyone with a history of mental illness, severe trauma, or panic. These challenges are best handled with a therapist. You are only permitted to use this process if you agree to absolve Steve Mensing, the webmasters, Emoclear.com and the web host of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of this process. With any emotional process the possibility of discomfort exists.***

THE RUMINATION BREAKER

The steps to the Rumination Breaker:

(1) Write out your ruminations in a spiral bound notebook or write them out on your computer. Write them free form without any attempt to censor them. Let them come bubbling out. Describe completely how you feel and think. Let yourself feel what you're writing. Leave no stone unturned.

(2) In your brief emotional writing process pay close attention to any thought distortions you find in your emotional writing. Learn to recognize these common distortions. Either question the beliefs or write the beliefs out over and over while you're in a relaxed and neutral state. This activity, like the Belief Repeater Process, will desensitize the emotional charge on these distorted belief and help break the rumination cycle. If you want to use the Belief Repeater Process, instead of writing the distortions out, it will be posted after the list of thought distortions. A list of the most common ruminative distortions will be posted below.

(3) Finish by recalling 10 to 12 very pleasant memories from your past. These may come from your school days, friends, family, work, favorite hobbies, or any other area of your life. Just recall these good times from start to finish. This will conclude the last step of the process.

CHECK LIST FOR COMMON RUMINATIVE DISTORTIONS

Language and its meaning is highly important in creating our emotional reactions and sensations. Cues that we are employing distorted and upsetting thoughts can be found in difficulty creating evaluations. Automatic & habitual, difficulty creating evaluations occur without reason or reflection. Here is a checklist of words and phrases we use in absolutistic and upsetting evaluations:

AWFULIZING: Here we make inconveniences or discomfort into disasters, catastrophes, something awful, horrible, or terrible. When awfulizing we fail to notice the positive or the neutral in our experience. Awful, horrible, and terrible generally imply 100% negative experiences. Very few experiences are fully awful. Believing a situation is awful will make it feel that way. Most so-called awful experiences could be made much worse. If you awfulize you could see your experience as "inconvenient", a "hassle", or "uncomfortable". "Difficult" & "tough" also work better.

Typical awfulizing words: awful, horrible, terrible, disaster, holocaust, the worst, doom, total hell, catastrophe, the pits.

To test your situation to see if it is really awful--ask the following questions:

*Does feeling awful actually prove the situation is awful?

*Does your belief create your feelings of awfulness or horribleness?

*If you believed the event was inconvenient, would you feel differently?

*Is there anything positive or neutral in your situation? A valuable learning experience?

*How long will your situation last? Can you cope with it?

*How is a disadvantage or inconvenience awful?

*Could this situation be made much worse?

*How does your difficulty compare with: (1) Being roasted slowly? (2) Dieing gradually and agonizingly from a rare disease? (3) Seeing loved ones paraded into slavery? (4) Being tortured slowly by aliens from another galaxy?

*Is your situation truly awful or is it an inconvenience?

CAN'T STAND IT-ITIS: Here we use evaluations like: "I can't stand it." "It's too much." "I can't take it." "It's driving me out of my mind." "It's overwhelming me." "When will this ever stop?" With these phrases we make uncomfortable and frustrating circumstances into unbearable ones. "Can't stand it-itis" resides at the core of impatience and frustration intolerance. If you're doing something that better be done and you feel extremely frustrated, you might think: "I can stand it." "It's not too much." "I can take it." "I can hang in there." "I've stood it before." "Much of life is challenging--I can put up with it."

Typical can't stand it-itis phrases are: "I can't stand it." "I can't take it. " "This's driving me crazy." "I'm being overwhelmed." "When will this ever end?" "This's killing me." "I'm going out of control." "Life should be easy."

See if you can really stand your situation by answering these questions:

*Could you stand it? Have you stood it before?
*Have you coped with a similar situation?
*Could you stand it for 2 million dollars or some other valued reward?
*If your brain is healthy--can you really go crazy or would you just get upset?
*Have you ever lived without it?
*Where's the evidence that it's too much?
*Can you stand it for a minute at a time?

SHOULDING: Here we elevate desires and preferences into arbitrary and ironclad laws such as shoulds, musts, oughts, got to's, and deserves. Shoulding offers us little choice, creates pressures, and leads to anger, guilt, and shame. With shoulds we create new rules and play Jehovah with ourselves and others. If we are shoulding, we better use: "want", "prefer", "desire", "would strongly like", or "better do".

Understand that everything is always as it SHOULD be. You may not enjoy the present, yet you better accept the idea that everything required to create current reality was done. The present SHOULD have occurred as it is now.

It is unrealistic and playing GOD to believe that reality SHOULD not have happened the way it happened. Reality is as it exists. Every prerequisite was met. To demand "it" SHOULD not have taken place will upset you and buy you 2 problems for the price of 1. And by demanding "it" SHOULD not have occurred, you fail to accept what happened.

If we don't like the present, we may alter it if possible and prevent what occurred from happening in the future.

Reasonable "shoulds" refer to current reality and can be observed clearly by others. Unreasonable "shoulds" are based on the idea that things SHOULD occur because we demand they do. Not based on present observations, unreasonable shoulds are often grounded in the notion that what is correct for us is right for everyone. Example: Mensing's truths should work for everybody.

Typical should phrases: "I should." "They must." "The world ought." "I've got to." "They have to." "They deserve."

To test your "should" laws & rules--ask the following questions:

*What law in the universe says you must or they should?

*What evidence is there that you or they must or should?

*Who or what creates this commandment?

*Would a want or a preference give you or them more of a choice?

*How would you talk a friend out of this must or should?

*Where is it written that what you want, you must get?

LABELING: Here we overgeneralize with the "verb to be" about ourselves, others, things, events, & the world. Example: "I'm no good." "I'm worthless." "I'm a failure." "They are slobs." "New York is a totally sick place." "Everything is no good." By overgeneralizing with "labeling" we, they, or it becomes one behavior, trait or quality. Example: I failed a geometry test--I'm a failure. Or they behaved badly--they are bad.

Sometimes we might label the world, things, and events with an overgeneralized tag. Example: Philadelphia is a snake pit. Or my job is the pits. Obviously Philadelphia and jobs contain far more than negative qualities. If we label, it is better to choose labels that carry the notion that we and everything in this world are multi-faceted and contain many, many positive, neutral, and negative qualities.

Recommended labels for the self: "I'm a multi-faceted person." "I'm a person with many positive, neutral, and some negative qualities." "I'm human with a wide range of qualities." These labels apply to others as well.

Recommended labels for things, events, and the world: "It is multi-faceted." "It has many positive, neutral, and negative qualities."

If you are labeling, ask yourself the following questions:

*Do you have millions of traits & behaviors?
*How can you just be one or a few traits & behaviors?
*Can you choose not to rate yourself by a gross overgeneralization?
*Is viewing yourself as just one or a few traits an overgeneralization?
*List some of your many positive & neutral traits & behaviors.
*Is it arbitrary to assign points to a trait or a behavior? How many points do you get added or subtracted for fallen arches?

NEEDING NONNECESSITIES: Here we employ words like need, must have, got to have, require, and can't do without. Our desires and wants become elevated into needs and dire neccessities (water, food, oxygen etc.) for living and for happiness. Feelings of desperation and craving are set off by needing nonnecessities. Overcome this challenge by knowing you desire or want what you don't truly need. Better use words like: "want", "desire", "prefer", & "would strongly like."

If you have been needing nonneccessities, ask yourself the following questions:

*Would you die if you did not have it?
*Is this truly necessary for survival or enjoyment?
*Is this an important as food, oxygen, & protection from the elements?
*Could you find pleasure doing something else or being with someone else? *Does your feelings of desperation or craving actually prove you need something or do they reflect your belief that you "need" something?
*Is this something you need or something you want?
*Can you accept yourself and treat yourself in a loving & caring manner?

ABSOLUTIZING: With this challenge we employ words like always, never, all the time, forever, totally, continually, not ever, eternally, unceasingly, absolute, incessant, completely, entire, whole, and unrelenting. Absolutizing words mean 100% of the time with no exceptions. Often these words are linked to anger, depression, and impatience. Example: Victor is "never" on time. Or Sally "always" gets it wrong. If we are absolutizing we better use more accurate words like: "frequently", "infrequently", "sometimes", "often", "a good deal of the time", "every once in awhile", "intermittently", and "partially". These words lead to less upsetting emotional responses.

If you are absolutizing, ask yourself the following questions:
*Does this happen sometimes, frequently, or even infrequently?
*What percentage of the time does this occur?
*Is it really the entire situation or just a part or a percentage of it?
*You mean always, in every single instance?
*Does it ever stop? Has it ever stopped before?

IMPOSSIBLE-IZING: Here we make difficult tasks into impossible tasks by using words like too difficult, too hard, impossible, unbelievably hard, too much, can't, and not a chance. Ask yourself if you could complete the task with the help of a support team, machines, or computers. Perhaps the task could be completed if you had new information. Further, could you complete the task if you just stuck with it or knew you would receive 2 million dollars or some other valuable reward? How would the task look to you if you broke it down into small manageable units rather that an overwhelming whole? Is it really impossible if you did it step by step? Remove "too" from difficult, hard, and much. Replace "can't" with can and will do. If you are impossible-izing, we better use words such as: "can", "possible", "possible with help", "difficult", "hard", "manageable", and "stong possibility".

If you are impossible-izing, ask yourself the following questions:

*Can you view the task in small manageable units and do it step by step?
*Could you do it for 2 million dollars or some other valued reward?
*Could you complete the task if your life depended on it?
*Could you do the task if you had more information, a brain trust, computer support, large machinery, a team, or some other form of assistance? *Is it really impossible?
*If you previously made mistakes, does it hold that you will always make the same mistake?
*Was a previous failure just an unwanted result or learning experience on the way to your goal?

OVERGENERALIZING: Here several instances of a category are seen as an entire category. Overgeneralizing comes in two basic flavors. (1) An event happens and we conclude it will occur again & again. Example: I got fired, I'll always be fired. (2) You evaluate yourself, another person, or the world by one or a few traits. Example: I got rejected, I'm a reject.

If you overgeneralize, focus on: (1) Frequency of occurence. This will give you a more realistic view. (2) That you recognize everything and every person possesses positive, neutral, and negative qualities.

Here's some questions you can ask:

*Are you or they just one trait or several, or many like most people?

*Just because it happened once before, does it follow that it will ALWAYS happen?

*How often does this happen?

VIEWING ONLY THE NEGATIVE: This mindset has us seeing only the negative while filtering out the positive. Example: My wife did 7 really helpful things for me today, yet I only recall her failure to take a message when someone called.

If you sometimes view only the negative, practice looking at what good or neutral things are happening in your life. You may want to make daily lists for several weeks to remind yourself of what is positive and neutral.

Here's some questions you can ask yourself:

*Did positive or neutral things happen?
*If someone else was watching this situation, what positive or neutral things might they notice?

BLACK & WHITE THINKING: Events are seen in black & white only with no neutral shades of gray. Or we see either/or situations, all or nothing, or one way or the other. These kinds of thinking signal we are not recognizing middle grounds, gray zones, average, or neutral areas. Most events don't occur in black or white or all-or-nothing terms without middle grounds. A black & white thinking example: If he's not a good guy, then he's a crook. Or if my performance wasn't great, then it stunk.

If your thinking sometimes goes to blacks & whites, look at average, middle grounds, neutral, and gray areas.

Here's some questions you can ask yourself:

*Is there something average going on here?
*Do you notice a middle ground?
*How about a gray area?

FAULT FINDING: Here we hunt for someone or something to blame. Example: If I didn't send Bobo to art school I'd be a millionaire. In fault finding we generally believe in one cause and one effect. Actually if we look at a situation from different perspectives we can find multiple causes and multiple effects. Fault finding is a serious waste of time that hampers finding solutions. Often when fault finding is applied to a person, we label that person and defocus from the behaviors that require change. The human brain is a wonderful device. It can come up with tons of causes, effects, and reasons after the fact. Fault finding, when applied to people, creates anger and guilt. It wastes energy better spent on solutions and changes in behavior.

If you sometimes find fault, blame the entire universe for 2 seconds, then focus on what requires change.

Here's questions we can ask ourselves:

*What were some of the other possible causes?
*Would someone else see someone or something else to blame?
*Is there a solution to find, rather then spend time blaming?

NIXING THE POSITIVE: Here we explain away positive events. Example: I would not have passed the test unless I got lucky. Or winning the Nobel Prize was nothing much--I had terrific lab equipment.

If you tend to nix the positive, practice accepting what good comes your way. Note how your efforts were involved in the positive outcome.

Here's questions to ask yourself:

*What was your responsibility for this good thing happening?
*Can you begin to notice the good things you did?

GUT THINKING: Here you base your evidence on your surface feelings. Feelings can be as distorted as the beliefs, images, and thoughts creating them. Feelings are not facts nor are they deeper intuitions. Your feelings mirror your attitudes and if your attitudes are distorted, you can guarantee your evidence will also be distorted. Example: I feel in my bones this isn't going to be my year. Or I feel like I'm going to get assassinated if I go to next week's Shriner's meeting.

Examples of gut thinking:

*I feel stupid.
*It feels like nothing will ever change.

If you tend to gut think, check out the beliefs & images behind your feelings. Look at the evidence.

Here's some questions to ask yourself:

*Because something feels true or real, does that make it true or real?
*Where's the evidence that because something feels real, that it is real?

EXPANDING: Here we exaggerate small weaknessness or defects. Example: Making an error on the spelling bee was a disaster! Or my left nostril is slightly larger than the other--it destroys my face.

If we expand, let us look at these deficiencies in the light of the larger context and accept what we can't change. Let us take into consideration what works and what is positive.

Here's questions to ask yourself:

*Is this an exaggeration?
*Am I making this larger than it actually is?
*How might others view this?

CONTRACTING: Here we minimize assets or diminish the positive. Example: Winning the Super Bowl 3 years straight was nothing much. Or sure she's brainy, but she never uses it.

If we contract the positive, let us accept what is positive and enjoy it.

*Am I minimizing what I do?
*How might others view this?

PERFECTIONISM: We believe we can be perfect and live up to a superhuman standard. This thinking does not account for our innate tendency to make errors. Example: I should perform flawlessly and never make mistakes.

If you tend toward perfectionism, recognize you are a fallible human who can only do his or her human best. You do not need to be perfect to accept yourself and treat yourself in a loving and caring manner.

Here's some questions to ask yourself?

*What law in the universe says you must be perfect or perform perfectly?
*Are not mistakes valuable learning experiences?
*Can you learn from your mistake and do it over?
PERMANENT CONDITIONS: Taking a temporary or time limited situation and transforming it into a permanent condition. Examples:

*I lost my job--I'll never work again.
*She shot my proposal down--I'll never be married.

Questions to ask yourself:

*Isn't this a time-limited situation?
*Is this a failure or is it feedback about my progress?
*How permanant is this situation?
*Could things change?

PERSONALIZING: Taking personally random events and viewing them as attacks. Examples:

*I must have been born under a bad sign because I fell down the subway steps.
*If someone dies in a vehicular collision it's because of bad karma.
Here's questions we can ask ourselves:

*What evidence or ideas make you believe this?
*Is there such a thing as dumb luck?
*Is it possible your decisions and choices got you in this predicament?

THE BELIEF REPEATER METHOD

The Belief Repeater Method (BRM) is based on the observation that if you repeat distorted and self-defeating beliefs over and over while experiencing neutral emotional states, the belief loses it's emotional support and believability.

(c) Steve Mensing

***WARNING: Folks with a history of mental illness, trauma, or panic are urged not to use this process without a counselor or therapist. If you decide to do this process you will agree to absolve the webmasters, their server, Emoclear.com, and Steve Mensing of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of this process. There is always in any emotional process the possibility that someone could experience some discomfort. So proceed with this warning.***

(1) CHOOSE A BELIEF YOU PREFER NOT TO BELIEVE: Choose a belief you find self-defeating or distorted and you prefer not to believe anymore. My belief is _______________________________________.

(2) EXPERIENCE A NEUTRAL STATE (CALM, DETACHED, UNCONCERNED): Experience a neutral state or briefly consider something you do like eating oatmeal, reading the weather page of a newspaper, or reading Emoclear behavioral change instructions. Get into that calm neutral state and go to step (3).

(3) REPEAT THE BELIEF, YOU PREFER TO DESENSITIZE, OVER AND OVER WHILE IN A NEUTRAL STATE: Repeat the belief, to be desensitized into unbelievability, over and over while in a neutral or calm state. If you feel yourself becoming aroused by the belief, then take a break. Go back and start again when your state returns to calm and neutral. Keep repeating the belief aloud until it has no emotional meaning.

TIPS ON THE BELIEF REPEATER METHOD. (BRM)

*Always hydrate yourself prior to using the BRM.

*Utilize the Self-Defeating Beliefs Test to check your beliefs and the Tips on Thoughts Distortions to notice problematic thinking.

*Test any beliefs you believe are self-defeating with this test:

-Will this belief fit with my deepest values and yearnings?
-Will this belief interfere with my personal relationships and family life?
-Will this belief provide the emotions I prefer?
-Will this belief support my short-term & long-term goals, my enlightened self-interest?
-Will this belief give me something I don't want?
-Will I be required to balance elements in my life owing to having this belief?
-Does it improve my life or my ability to perform?
-Does it keep me out of significant conflict with others? (unless the conflict is something I prefer).
-Does it effect either my physical or mental health?
-Could another belief work better for me?
-Will this belief effect my behavior adversly?
-Is the belief right for the context where it's employed?
-Are there future consequences for holding this belief?
-What might make it difficult to believe this in some instances?

*Practice some kind a relaxation or calming maneuver prior to the Belief Repeater Method (BRM). This will be your neutral state to pair with the statments.

*After you grow more experienced with the BRM you may add on a future-orientation-in-time questions to further desensitize the belief. You can add it after step (3). Ask this question:

After my belief is meaningless and unbelievable, what will I see? What will I hear? What will I feel? What will I notice first when my belief becomes meaningless and unbelievable? What might I be doing differently?
*Practice each segment of the BRM until you can flawlessly do the process from start to finish.

*Utilize the VOC Scale to check the believability of your self-defeating or distorted belief:

*Here's a scale to measure the believability of a belief: The VOC Scale (Validity of Cognition). The original VOC was 7 point scale which the EMDR people originated. I use a 10 point version of the scale. To utilize the scale properly do an intuitive read on the belief.

THE VOC SCALE:

0-No belief in the belief at all.
1-Able to consider the belief's possibility.
2-Able to feel some hope the belief is true.
3-Able to relate to an experience that supports the possibility of believing the belief.
4-The belief has some grain of truth.
5-The belief begins to seem believable.
6-The belief has some partial truth.
7-The belief feels true, yet there are reservations.
8-The belief feels mostly true, but with some doubt.
9-The statement feels almost completely true.
10-The statement feels completely true--it is true beyond a doubt.

The scale can be reduced to 1-10 and just choose a number. 1 meaning you don't believe it. 10 meaning you believe it. You get a felt sense read of the belief's validity and assign it a number.

TIPS ON THE RUMINATION BREAKER

*Make sure you're well hydrated.

*Never practice the Rumination Breaker in bed or places where you like to feel comfortable.

*Learn self-acceptance. See the Self-Acceptance Learn-in.

*Eat well, practice good sleep habits, and exercise. All contribute to defeating rumination.

*Walking, running, and other aerobic exercise can break up rumination.

*When rumination occurs, step back from the thoughts through labeling them "Those thoughts", neutrally observe them, and let them be. They will often die down through this mindful exposure.

*Learn to immediately redirect your attention to some other activity which provides importance, meaning, or pleasure.

*Hangout with friends or call friends on the phone.

*Do the "Left-Hemisphere Mood Elevator" found on the process page. This exercise consists of right nasal dominance breathing, looking to the extreme right while your head is turned left, and tightening the right side of your face. This exercise leads to mood elevation for one to three hours.

*Placing ice cold water in your right ear will raise your mood and stifle rumination. Discontinue if you feel nauseous or off balance.

Have fun, Steve

Hi everyone,

What keeps worrying going are beliefs like

Perhaps I'll find a solution.

I can't overlook anything--I must keep searching.

I'm only responsible and caring if I persist in my worries.

I need more thinking time to figure things out.

I want to avoid suprises.


Typical worry themes:

Fearing something specific or a "thing".

Fearing evaluation by others or rejection and humiliation.

Leaving something incomplete.

Beling contaminated.

Making mistakes.

Having thoughts and feelings that make you anxious.

Fear of intrusive thoughts that something awful is going to happen to you.

Considering the future hopeless and bleak.

Dwelling on the future possibility that you'll suffer or be doomed to failure.


Max Venhoven

Repost


Dale asks: "Are some people more prone to worry and rumination?"

Dale persons who regularly avoid their emotions are more prone to form compulsive defenses and develop worry and rumination. The two are examples of stuck repetitive thinking that keeps overwhelm and other painful feelings from awareness.

Take care, Steve

Hello,

The main reasons why people don't like to give up worry are-

Belief the world is dangerous.

Belief that worry helps solve problems.

Worry means you are resposible and care.

Worry helps you think about the worst possible outcome.

Worry keeps you from feeling powerful emotions.

Worry reduces uncertainty.

Worry holds back anxiety.

Worry gives a sense of control.



Worriers often believe-

No one understands my feelings.

I can't accept my feelings.

My strong feelings will last forever.

I must be absolutely sure about my feelings.

My emotions make no sense.

I can't stand having mixed feelings.



Carla Januzzi

Hi,

The worst approaches for trying to stop worry are:

1. Thought stopping. Using a rubber band to snap on your wrist is proven ineffective.

2. Seeking reassurance from professionals and doctors.
Most people don't believe what they're told.

3. Confirming only negative facts.Going out and gathering information that might be biased.

4. You use safety behaviors.

5. Keep checking and doubting what you find.

6. You avoid or put off what makes you uncomfortable.

7. You drink or take drugs.

Hi,

The top worries:

Money and bills.

Not being able to express oneself.

Job future.

Family will disapprove.

Ambitions will be thwarted.

Will leave work undone.

Insecure about the future.

Life has no purpose.

Loss of important others approval.

About personal attractiveness.

Looking stupid.

Being rejected.

Lose close friends.

Be late for work or something important.

That I have a disease.

Being confident enough.


Bettina Kohler

Repost Jim


Hi Evan,

Many chronic worries about bills and finances are rooted in the Personality Cluster "Economically Challenged". Processing this cluster can help move someone out of bill worries. It's good to be concerned about bills and take care of them. Worrying frequently or compulsively about bills can also be helped by feeling the feelings the worry is covering over.

Jayne Burgos


ECONOMICIALLY CHALLENGED PERSONALITY CLUSTER: This cluster of beliefs creates chronic challenges in the area of money making, budgeting, planning, and undertaking courses of action. The beliefs are:

*I'm always broke or just getting by.
*I down myself for not having money.
*I feel empty when I think of money.
*I direly need money, but I never have it.
*My lack of money results from bad luck.
*I feel like I'm always strapped and always will be.
*My financial plans are doomed from the start.
*Without money I am nothing.
*I feel powerless to stop overspending.
*I can't create a budget--it's too much hassle.
*I can't commit to managing my finances or planning ahead.
*I can't hold onto money.
*Balancing my finances is too hard--it's not me.
*Having a decent income feels unnatural.
*I believe money can magically appear under the right circumstances.
*I shouldn't have to make an effort--money should come easily.
*I try to raise my standard of living, but nothing works.
*I believe money equals happiness.
*My memory is sometimes impaired about my budget.
*My economic stability depends on luck and that I don't have.
*I need money to be happy, but I never have money.
*Work sucks.
*Money is a measure of self-worth.
*I feel driven to make money and part of me resists this.
*Others are rsponsible for my money woes, not me.
*Money will just magically come to me.
Take care, Steve

Brenda McKinney
Unregistered User
(8/16/06 12:56 pm)
Reply Worried about money and bills.
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How do you stop thinking about money all the time?
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How do you stop thinking about money all the time?

Is there a limit to the amount of questions one can ask in these forums? Posters don't seem to ask more than two. I have dozens more. I'm totally new here and really love what I've read. Hope I'm not being a pest with all my questions.

Please let me know if there's a limit to questions because I don't want to be rude!

Lori


Hello Lori,

There's no limit to questions I gather. No rule about it. If they're lucid and on topic I suppose you can go a couple. They do delete rambling and unclear questions in these forums.

Any kind of worry or what ifing about money is targeted by feeling and integrating the anxious overwhem the compuslive worries and what ifs are covering over. Those feelings may be unrelated to money matters. If there are actual money concerns then practical solutions are required. Like saving, economizing, and being more frugal.

James Detweiler


Repost Tom Cuthbertson


Preoccupied with money issues?

Hello all,

My friend is terribly preoccupied with money issues. He thinks about it to the point of it being draining.
He's behind in his bills and is very stressed about this. He's just learning the integrators and event reviews. What might he target with money issues? Should he just breathe and let targets come up around this issue. Are there specific targets universal to money preoccupation?

Ellen


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Preoccupied with money issues.

Ellen:

What you're saying here appears like simple obsessive thinking. Find out what your friend could be avoiding through focusing obsessively on money. Often when people obsess they use it as a way of escaping something else that's creating anxiety or depression in their life.

John Gastly


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Preccupied with money issues? Practical & psycholgical.

Ellen:

Although part of the issue may be obsessing on money problems, there are practical issues inolved in your description of your friend's plight as well.

Money challenges maybe seized as a compulsive defense against feeling overwhelmed so John's suggestion about feeling avoided feelings is a good one. The Cardio Integrator and Emo-Integrator would be useful here as would be Active Feeling.

If your friend is behind on bills he has a "real" issue here. Even if this "being behind with the bills" behavior is being seized by the unconscious to obsess about, it is still a practical issue which better not be avoided. Besides working directly with the feelings blocked by the obsessing, your friend might need to get a good book on handling money and budgeting or seek a dept couselor.

Your friend might just jot down everything that is pressing him besides money. Breathing up other concerns could be used if he's blocked.

Take care, Steve


Hello,

The Personality Cluster Economically Challenged as well as the Vulnerable Cluster can create considerable anxiety about money or potential money disasters.

Martin Hauck




ECONOMICIALLY CHALLENGED PERSONALITY CLUSTER: This cluster of beliefs creates chronic challenges in the area of money making, budgeting, planning, and undertaking courses of action. The beliefs are:

*I'm always broke or just getting by.
*I down myself for not having money.
*I feel empty when I think of money.
*I direly need money, but I never have it.
*My lack of money results from bad luck.
*I feel like I'm always strapped and always will be.
*My financial plans are doomed from the start.
*Without money I am nothing.
*I feel powerless to stop overspending.
*I can't create a budget--it's too much hassle.
*I can't commit to managing my finances or planning ahead.
*I can't hold onto money.
*Balancing my finances is too hard--it's not me.
*Having a decent income feels unnatural.
*I believe money can magically appear under the right circumstances.
*I shouldn't have to make an effort--money should come easily.
*I try to raise my standard of living, but nothing works.
*I believe money equals happiness.
*My memory is sometimes impaired about my budget.
*My economic stability depends on luck and that I don't have.
*I need money to be happy, but I never have money.
*Work sucks.
*Money is a measure of self-worth.
*I feel driven to make money and part of me resists this.
*Others are rsponsible for my money woes, not me.
*Money will just magically come to me.

Take care, Steve

Greetings Lori:

This post deals with the practical side of finances-

Izn asks: "Beside clearing up the beliefs in the Economically Challenged Personality Cluster, what are other steps people can take to achieve financial independence?"

1zn here's some potential steps to shake the "money maker" or give everybody a "money bin".

Making sure we have enough dust or a surplus requires
some of the following:

*A way to deal with the emotional side of money. Folks may have stuck emotional reactions to money and obtaining it. Folks can process and integrate:

-Their anxieties about money and obtaining it.
-Their self-attack about not having enough.
-Having a compulsion for obtaining money (Greed).
-Having phobias about money.
-Low Frustration Tolerance concerning planning and following though on making money.
-Envy toward others for having money.
-The emotions behind procrastination.
-Personality Clusters thwarting our goals.
-The emotions that stifle budgeting.
-Fears about the unknown.
-Emotions around compulsive spending.
-Trances blocking out financial awareness.
-Self-defeating motivations for having money.
-Emotions effecting critical reasoning and gullibility.
-Rating yourself up and down by what you have.
-Feelings about credit.
-Emotions about unexpected changes and learning experiences.
-Feelings about home buying.
-Emotions about becoming destitute or wealthy.
-Feelings about retirement.
-Feelings about how much money you actually require to have a fun and stimulating life.
-Emotions you have about personal power and money.
-Anxieties about your family's economy.
-Anxieites about self-employment.


*Ways to handle vocation and investment areas:

-Knowing what really turns you on in life and where your interests reside. This can be a major source of income.
-Gaining the requisite skills and education required for your vocational aspirations.
-Learning practical investment skills. Learning on-line, from books, or taking courses.

*Goal Making, business plan making:

-Learn the GOAL MAKER for practical goal construction.
See the Goal Maker Learn-in. Well planned goals which are followed up with action bear fruit as we can observe in the world.
-The DREAMSTATE CREATOR is a goal visualization method for getting a goal airborne from start to well-formed finish.
-Learning how to make business plans. Lots of books exist and the SBA offers excellent materials and training on creating business plans. Business plans can be visualized.

*Taking all important action on what we want. This is how goals, visions, and plans get actualized and made real.

-"A CALL TO ACTION" and THE "ACTION MANUEVER" help
folks get off their butts and assist goals, visions, and plans to become fully realized.

*Getting control over our beliefs about vocation, goals, making money, and related items.

-RAPID BELIEF CREATOR for strengthening the believability in the beliefs we want and processing out the beliefs that are thwarting our goals.
-BELIEF CREATOR is another method for strengthening believability in the beliefs we want and for processing out the beliefs that block our goals.

*Folks need to know how to make decisions in their area of finances:

-TIPS ON DECISION MAKING can be useful in this area.

*Know your beliefs and feelings about money:

-Make an inventory of your beliefs and feelings concerning finances, financial goals/ideals, buying, saving, credit, investing. This can give you a lot of targets for processing or new belief making.

*Recognize and change financial behavior patterns:

-THE PATTERN TREE and THE HABIT CRACKER assist in altering problematic behavioral patterns in regards to finances.

*Folks will inevitably run into having to come up with creative solutions for challenges along the way:

-Currently there's a thread on finding solutions in the Emoclear Forums. It will eventually wind up in the Learn-in section.
-THE MULTI-SOLUTIONS GENERATOR may help folks with finding solutions.

*Individuals need to know how to do practical budgeting.

-The internet is ripe with tips and information on budgeting as are public libraries.

*Folks require being assertive in the area of finances:

-TIPS ON ASSERTIVINESS and THE ASSERTIVENESS LEARN-IN has information on being assertive.

*Knowing your core values and priorities is very important to both your vocation and your overall finances.

-Check out the HIERACHY OF VALUES EXERCISE on the Emoclear Process page.

Take care, Steve